Archive forBoisterous

C class definition of a software professional

This is from one of my friends Anil Naik.

class Indian_Bachelor_female_professional
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_problems;
float mind;
char non_co_operative;

class Married_female_Software _Professional
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossips;
float hopes;
char unstable;

class Female_Engaged_software _professional
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
char edgy;

class Indian_Newly_Married_software _professional
double dinner_invitations;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_breaks;
float talks;
void bank_balance();
char hen_pecked;

class Indian_husband_wife_software _professional
double income;
short temper;
long time_no_see;
float new_software_company;
void love();

Class Guy_who_wrote_this
Long time_on_bench;
Void work();

Comments (2)

The race is on …

This is Ophiophagus giving you live update from the Bangalore-Mysore State Highway. Today, as every other day, we are about to witness the race to death in the Bangalore – Msyore State Highway. To keep you with the updates, I would again like to inform you about the rules and regulations that one has to meet before taking it on.

Participants: 2 wheelers, 3 wheelers, 4 wheelers, 6 wheelers, Trailers …
Contestants: Any user ir-respective of age
Vehicle: Any make, Local/Foreign
License: Not mandatory
Driving Skills: Not essential
Circuit: Bangalore – Mysore State Highway
Race Type: Death race
Timings: Open 24 hrs

The very good about this race track is that it is open to unrestricted public viewing and any one can participate from anywhere on that circuit and tend to increase on weekends. The track makes it’s way through small villages as well as some major cities, making it easily accessible to all the contestants.

Since I planned to push on updates on the track and the race status, I hoped into a Tata Indica and joined the already moving race group. I met the group at the Mysore intersection, one way coming from the city while the other being from the by-pass. Our driver was driving at 100 kmph, when I am being zoomed passed by 5 cars and when queried about the speed to him, he promptly said around 120-140 kmph. Our driver put his foot on the gas, and woh, we were also on par with them at 110 kmph. One Mercedes Benz and a Skoda Laura have just zoomed pass me at around 150 kmph leaving all of us behind trying to be the first. There is hardly and space between the two of the cars. If one puts on the brakes, I am sure the other would just ramp on the other. With both flashing indicators, they were just passing each one of us in the race track.

As we were cruising along on that speed, oh, what do I see! I see a cyclist trying to make it’s way on the the circuit. As far as I can see, he is seated on his Hero cycle, with one hand holding on to the cycle while the other hand trying to adjust his `lungi`, which does not seem be holding on to his waist. God, please don’t take his `lungi` off, else their might be a sudden increase in the Testosterone level in some contestants.

My driver would just shift the gears in order to lessen the speed along with the breaks. Oh what an idea, though it leaves the engine burning. As we are competing with one another, I notice a a group of villagers walking just beside the circuit, one set trying to cross the circuit and the other happily sitting by the side of the circuit gossiping, while our contestants are zooming by. Oh no. God save them.

The space that is between the cars is hardly a meter and everyone takes it granted that the former would not stop. The best part is that all the big vehicles would be driving on the extreme right so that other’s would have overtake through the left, a new overtake rule. They are the Big B’s of the road and would not give any indication while changing lanes making it difficult for us to shift and overtake. One needs to squeeze past them as we and fellow racers did.

I reached Bangalore and was lucky enough to complete the race and come out unharmed. Will update once again when I would be a part of the race. With government easing on the speed breakers rules on the roads, hope to have some more excitement as days go by.

This is Ophiophagus signing off for the day.


Positive Approach

This is one, from one of my friend.

Father: “I want to marry a girl of my choice.”
Son:     “I will choose my own bride.”
Father: “But the girl is Bill Gate’s daughter.”
Son:     “Well, in that case … OK”

Father approaches Bill Gate’s.

Father:        “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry.”
Father:        “But this young man is a vice president of the world bank.”
Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case … OK”

Father goes to see president of World Bank.

Father:       “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice president.”
President: “But I already have more vice president’s than I need.”
Father:       “But this young man is Bill Gate’s son-in-law.”
President:  “Ah, in that case … OK”

Business done.

Moral : Even if you have nothing, you can get anything. But your attitude and approach should be positive.


Traffic Signs – An easy way to remember

I have recently joined driving school for learning how to drive a car. I was looking for the different meanings of the road signs that are placed. Did a Google search and this is what I get.

Traffic/Road Signals